Marketing 101: Self Published Novelist Wonders: "What Kind of Controversy Best Defines Me As An Author?"

After painstakingly editing a manuscript for fourteen months, self-published Young Adult fiction writer Jackson Dundass took a moment to ponder what kind of controversy he could stir up in order to get his work noticed amidst the thousands of other titles published this year in the Young Adult category.

Dundass, who says he has worked tirelessly to create a book that depicts the pain and angst of teenage-hood against the backdrop of loneliness and isolation that he himself experienced growing up, admitted he had already submitted the novel to various web platforms when he realised he had failed the final marketing step of starting a viral controversy on Twitter.

Concerned that his work would be lost in the thousands-strong rankings of other self-published works, Dundass then sat down to decide how best to formulate his marketing plan, tossing up between garnering the rage of a small group of right-wing religious fanatics by drawing attention to his homosexual characters, alerting right-wing conservatives to the inclusion of explicit sexual content, or staging a terrorist threat against anyone who reads his book.

"I'm just not sure who should be angriest about what I've written," said Dundass in an interview on Tuesday evening, "But I want to start by offending one group before I try moving on to the next one - you know, you can blow your load too soon if you're not careful."

Dundass then put a hand to his mouth and giggled.  "Whoops.  Did I say 'blow your load'?  You should probably put that in the headline."

Angry right-wing conservatives, religious fanatics and people afraid of being blown up, were not available for comment.